(a fragment of a longer work — marcy)

Only the slightest glow of the setting sun still remains in the sky as I walk out of the back of the bar. I adjust my stocking cap, pulling it up a bit. Val had nearly brought it down to my chin before herding me out the door. I think if I'd insisted on staying, she'd have picked me up bodily and hurled me from the premises.

Five thirty on a Wednesday isn't exactly peak hours for a bar or club, and the Oubliette is no exception. As I approach, I see a handful of younger people standing out in front, smoking and laughing. They look kind of like Juve, punk and goth types. I glance down at my red, orange, and yellow dress and consider how I must look to this crowd. One of them looks up and gives me a brief nod as I pass by. That's a friendly gesture in this soft-spoken town; Zee calls it the "Portland hello".

The moment I walk in I stop in shock. I hadn't known what to expect based on the name. To be honest, I had to check with Juve to make sure that she wasn't inviting me to some kind of bondage club. From the pounding music and the sweaty people wandering out of the doors in front of me, it's clear that this is a dance club, but the immediate vibes are more university coffeeshop mixed with Victorian parlour than Friday night meat market. The couches and low tables scattered around the entryway are covered with tired-looking partiers sprawled out, some of them quietly talking and others just resting against each other.

Something tells me that the best way to get a sense of this place is to go right to the center, so I pass through to the next room. The music is louder in here, almost deafening, but after years as a roadie and a musician I'm used to this kind of thing. The dancefloor is only partly full, with little clusters of the goths and punks I saw outside, along with a few oddballs blissfully grooving by themselves. On the far end of the room I see the bar, and I see the back of a woman who looks a lot like Juve.

Wait. That's just a white lady in fishnets and all black. There's at least two dozen people like that in here. I laugh to myself, and approach the bar, taking a quick sidelong glance at the woman. Nope, not her. The bartender, a strapping lady with impressive lobe plugs and a head covered in day-glo extensions, ambles over. "Can I get you somethin', darlin'?"

"Yeah..." I pick up a menu from the counter and skim it, and one of the specials catches my eye. "A Long Dark?" The bartender nods and moves on. I pull out my phone and start writing a text to Juve to let her know I'm here, when I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around, and then look up into a familiar face.

"Kriss!" It's strange to see her outside the bar, but of course I know that we're not her only haunt. Is she smiling at me? "How nice to see you."

Kriss moves around me and leans up against the bar, propped up on her elbows. Her cropped black pleather jacket and miniskirt, studded belt, and violet stockings fit the venue, but she's far more glam than anyone else in here. I'm sure that's just how she likes it. "Imagine seeing you here, Hedy. I didn't know you went clubbing." She brushes back a strand of her long, blonde hair. "I didn't know you had a life at all, other than slinging drinks."

It sounds like an insult, but there's something in her expression that seems sincere. I shrug. "That's not too far from the truth, I guess. I'm here to meet a friend. This is my first time here."
Her eyes glitter as her smile widens. "Oh, I'm sure you'll love it. It's not one of my usual hangs either, but I came by to see my friend Luna." As she's speaking, the bartender comes back with a dark violet drink in a coupe glass and sets it down in front of me. She leans forward on the counter and gives Kriss a gentle bop on the back of the head. Kriss jumps forward and turns around, and then grins. "Bitch."

"No leanin' on the counter, dummy." The words are insulting, but the tone is affectionate. The bartender looks at me. "There's your drink, darlin'. This reprobate a friend of yours?"

"She's bartender down at the Old One, Luna. Her name's Hedy." Kriss reaches out to pat your arm. "And her drink's on my tab."

"Well... thanks." I pick up the drink and sip it. It tastes intensely herbal with an undercurrent of citrus, which is right up my alley. "Thank you, Luna. It's delicious."

"Glad you like it." She looks down the bar. "Got another customer, Kriss, but I go on break in ten. I'll grab you."

"You're on." Kriss watches her go, and turns back to you. "Luna's good people, and a great bartender. You two should compare notes sometime."

I take another sip of the drink. "That would be cool. If she came up with this drink, she's kind of a genius. I've never been very good at coming up with new cocktails myself." I look back up at Kriss. Still smiling? "How do you know her?"

She leans back against the bar. I realize that it's not just a casual pose -- she's positioning herself so she's not towering above me quite so much. "She's a client. And a friend, but a client first. We go way back."

"You did her hair? It looks really nice. And like it took a long time."

"Yeah, I do her hair, and other stuff--" She raises an eyebrow. "I realize that you and I haven't really talked much before, have we? You probably don't know much about my work."

I tilt my head. "Zee says you're a 'full-service aesthetician'. I don't really know what that is, but I know you do hair."

She nods. "Hair, makeup, skincare, styling, manis, pedis, waxing... well, I don't always do all of those, but I have friends I refer folks to." She examines her nails. "Speaking of which, I think I'm due. Oh, and recently I became a licensed electrologist, so that's another service I'll be purveying soon."

My eyes widen. "Wow. I didn't know you did all that. You're multi-talented. But... what does an electrologist do?"

"Hair removal. With electrolysis." She cocks her head. "That little dork. They really didn't tell you? Sal didn't, either?"

What am I missing? I rub my ear awkwardly. "I don't really... talk about you with them, too much. You and Zee are always sniping at each other. And, to be honest, I kind of thought you didn't like me."

Kriss stares at me and then shakes her head, and bursts out laughing. "Shit. No, Hedy. Me and Zee bust each other's chops, but we're friends." She pauses. "Don't tell them that. And as for Sal..." She shrugs. "He's not really one for talking about his personal life, I know. And it's true that things ended up a little rough with the two of us. But I love him, and we're still friends." She looks at me thoughtfully. "And, you know, we all need to look out for each other."

"Because you're--" I slap my forehead. "I'm an idiot."

She laughs. "Why do you say that?"

"All those services you provide... you do gender-affirming services, don't you?" I shake my head. "Holy shit."

"That's right. I mean, I'm not opposed to taking cis clients." She grins. "I'd love to do your hair sometime, for one thing. But that's what I do, yes. I help trans people and enbies be the way they want to be, as affordably as I can manage."

I'm dumbfounded. "Holy shit," I say again. "Kriss, you're a hero!"

"What?" She looks a bit flustered for a moment, and then fans her face. "Stop. You'll make me blush."

"No, seriously, I thought you were just a--" I stop, horrified.

She leans forward. "You thought I was just a vain, shallow, catty bitch?" Her grin widens, and her blue eyes seem chilly.

I take a deep breath. "Yeah. Basically."

Her eyes stay locked on mine for a long few seconds, and then she bursts out laughing, slapping my shoulder. "Oh, Hedy! You poor thing. It's fine. I am a vain, catty bitch." She wipes her eyes and leans back against the bar. "But not shallow. That's not your fault. I haven't given you the chance to plumb the depths."

She looks like she's about to say something else, when Luna approaches from behind, now in front of the counter. She slaps Kriss's shoulder. "C'mon."

Kriss shoots her a dirty look. "Just a sec, Luna." She leans forward. "Hedy. What I was going to say was... if you want to get to know a little more, you and I should go out some time. Drinks, dinner, whatever you want." The practiced casualness has left her expression, replaced with plain sincerity.

"Go out? You mean, uh..."

"On a date, yes." She shakes her head. "Listen, if you're not into it, I won't be hurt. But I think it'd be fun. You don't have to answer now, just... let me give you my number, OK?"

I'm a little bewildered, but I pull out my phone. "Um... yeah. Here. K-R-I-S-S... what's the number?" She tells me, and I save the contact. "I'll... I'll let you know, OK?"

"Good. I'll be waiting." She hesitates, and then suddenly gives me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. "Have fun with Juve tonight. See you at the bar." She backs up, takes a deep breath, and suddenly has the slightly supercilious expression I associate with her. She gives a little wave, and she's gone.

I watch her go, and then I look at the number on my phone. That was... unexpected. I'm staring off into the distance when I feel another hand tap me on the back. I jump into the air, almost spilling my drink. "Ack!"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Juve walks around me quickly, cringing. "I didn't mean to startle you, Hedy. I saw you were here at the bar, but it looked like you were in the middle of something." Juve looks like... Juve, really. She doesn't have to dress up to go to a goth club, that's her everyday, although she's wearing a particularly nice blouse tonight.

I rub my head and chuckle weakly. "It's fine, Juve. It's good to see you. I just ran into one of my patrons, and we were chatting. I was just, uh... lost in thought."

She looks me up and down. I notice she's a little dolled up tonight compared to when I saw her in the bar. "I can see. Must have been quite a conversation, to fluster you so much." She smiles. "You'll have to tell me about it. Let's get drinks and go sit down somewhere quieter."

The bar back, a painfully young and shy-looking man with sandy blond hair, approaches us. "Can I get you some drinks, ladies?"

Juve nods. "Fernet and coke."

"Another Long Dark," I say.

The bartender starts making the drinks, and I turn to Juve. "Fernet? Let me guess, you picked it up on a trip to San Francisco?"

"Right." She wrinkles her nose at me and then grins. "Of course the bartender would know that. I used to work for a company down there. Fucking awful place to work, but good parties." She looks down at her hands. "Met some lifelong friends there, though. Including the guy who introduced me to fernet."

"I'm more of an aperol spritz girl myself. Fernet tastes too much like licorice mouthwash to me." I laugh. "But I also have an old friend who... who used to drink it."

"Used to?"

"Yeah."

She nods. "Understood."

The awkward moment is broken by the sandy-haired young man, who places our drinks on the bar. "There you are. Fernet and coke, and... your Long Dark. The woman who was over here talking to you earlier paid for both, miss. With her compliments." He looks a bit anxious.

"Aww, that's sweet!" Juve takes her drink. "Thanks, dude. Come on, Hedy, let's go find a couch." She leads me out of the main room and into a hallway. The place feels like a maze.
"This place can't be up to fire code," I murmur.

I hear a cackle from Juve up ahead. "Fire code! God, you really are your brother's sister, aren't you." She stops at a doorway and walks in. It's dark inside, lit with what are mercifully electric candles and a faux fireplace, and the walls are covered in drapes. I suspect there's soundproofing panels underneath them, because it's much quieter in here. A few patrons are sitting around a small table and pay us no heed, but there's a loveseat free. Juve plops down and pats the space next to her.

"Don't mind if I do." I settle down next to her. "So... it's nice to see you, Juve."

She shakes her head and waves her hand. "Yes, yes. I know. Don't worry about the small talk, babe." She leans forward. "Tell me about Kriss."

I sip my drink, hoping to cover my sudden awkwardness. "Um... yeah. Well, I guess you don't know her. She's a patron at the bar, has been pretty much since we opened." I run my finger along the rim of the drink, trying to think. "She and I haven't really talked much before, other than ordering drinks. But she used to date Sal -- that's the other bartender I told you about, the guy who does all the foraging."

"Used to. All right." She nods thoughtfully. "Let me guess. She only comes by on nights when you're working?"

I smile weakly. "Yeah... things ended kind of rocky between those two. Although she just told me there'ss no real hard feelings." I shrug. "Also, remember Zee? The kid that joined us for family meal?"

She smiles. "The nerd? Sure."

"Kriss and Zee go at it like cats and dogs. Especially cats. Oh, my god." I cover my mouth, giggling. "I swear to god Zee must spend hours coming up with this stuff. They kind of go over my head sometimes, though."

Juve takes a long drink. "So... she's a patron, you don't know her well, she seems kind of like a messy bitch. And she's gorgeous. So, what were you talking about?"

"We were talking a little about her work. She was here to meet the bartender, who's a client of hers."

"Luna?" She nods. "Good people. At least, as far as I can tell. Mixes a mean drink."

"Right, her. You see--" I scratch my head. "Um..."

"What's wrong?"

I look around. "I hope I'm not doing the wrong thing here. I don't want to out anybody. But I trust you. So, Kriss is a hairdresser, but she also does hair removal and other stuff. She does gender-affirming stuff, you know."

Juve tilts her head and then bursts out laughing. "Oh!" She pats my shoulder. "Hedy, you're such a sweetheart."

My face grows hot. "What do you mean?"

"I think you see people the way they want to be seen. Am I right?"

I've never thought about it that way, but... "Sure. I think so."

"Well..." Juve shrugs. "I don't think you have to worry about outing miss Luna. Aside from being six two in flats, she does have a trans flag tattoo. But I suspect you don't spend as much time looking at other people's ink as I do." She looks down at her own intricately tattooed arms. "So Kriss does cosmetic care for queers. She's certainly fabulous herself."

"Yes." I sip my drink and try to find the next words. "Uh. She's very fashionable. I have to admit I find it a bit intimidating." I wave my free arm a little bit, dangling the loose cloth of my sleeve. "High fashion was never my thing. I can't imagine it looking good on me. Too short, too thick, too dark—"

Juve lets out an exasperated snort. "Babe, you can wear what you want. I think you're fashionable as fuck. But don't let me hear you drag yourself like that. You are gorgeous. And clearly Kriss thinks so, too."

"Yeah, but—" I pause. Wait. "How did you know she—"

"Hedy." She chuckles. "I saw her give you her number. I saw the look on your face. And she bought you a drink. I wasn't born yesterday." One long black fingernail drags along the rim of her drink, and then she tips it back. "So. Are you going to text her?"

I hadn't even thought about it yet. "I don't know. I wasn't expecting her to..." I wave my hand, trying to find the words. "... approach me. Like that."

Juve leans back and gives me an appraising look. "Well, let's be rational about it. First, one obvious question: do you like girls, Hedy?"

I sigh. "Yes. I mean, it's been a long time, but... yes."

She nods. "All right. How about a trans girl like Kriss? Any issues there?"

"No..." I shake my head slowly. "I mean, I've never dated a trans woman, but I've only really had one partner at all... I don't see any reason I wouldn't."

Another nod. "Good. Do you think Kriss is attractive?"

She's very different from the women I've been close to before. But she does have lovely eyes, and a disarmingly sweet smile when she's not putting on a face. "Yes. And she seems to be a... more interesting person than I thought, too."

"Then... do you want to go on a date?" Juve watches me carefully. "Is that something you want in your life right now?"

"I hadn't considered it." I lift my drink and finish it, thinking. My life is so busy right now, between running the bar and helping my brother... but it's not like I don't have spare time, and Kriss seems like... "Kriss seems like someone who would be easy to be with. Not high maintenance. Right?"

Juve shrugs. "I don't know the doll. It sounds like you barely do, either. But she certainly seems like she can take care of herself."

I look at her and shake my head helplessly. "I don't know what to do."

She reaches over and pats my hand. "You're thinking about what you should do, or what you can do. What do you want to do?"

I know. "I want to do it."

"Then do." Juve cracks a smile. "Right now, babe. Get that phone out and text her. I'm going to go get us another couple drinks. When I get back, you had better have a date." She gets up, squeezes my shoulder, and leaves.

I reach over to my purse and pull out my phone. Bring up the number... don't call, text... all right, then. Hi Kriss, it's Hedy. I want to take you up on your offer.

It doesn't take long until my phone buzzes. hell yeah. you free tomorrow night?

Tomorrow night? That's so soon. But... it is my night off. To hell with it. Yes, I'm free. Where and when?

Another short wait. Juve comes up with two fresh drinks in her hands, and sets them down. "So? What's the plan?"

My phone buzzes, and I look at it. "Um. Tomorrow night, at seven, at the... Brass Horseshoe?"

Juve sits down and raises her eyebrow. "Sounds like a shitkicker bar to me, Hedy. Do you know where that is?"

I look it up. Pretty far out toward Clackamas, and from the reviews... "I think you're right." I shake my head. "Do you think she's fucking with me?"

"Nah." Juve takes a drink. "Maybe it's cheap. Or maybe they have good steak. She looks like the kind of girl who likes a big bloody hunk of meat."

I consider for a moment. What do I have to lose? I send the text and put the phone down. "There."

"What did you say?"

"I said... see you there."

Juve's eyes light up. "Attagirl!"